She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We are two peas in an std pod
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
