Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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