don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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