quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
