I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The air was thick with penises
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
