how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
