Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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