So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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