Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
