I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
