Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
