Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
