so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
