my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I love having hate sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
