You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
