I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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