Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
