Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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