The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
