I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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