Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
