Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
