The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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