Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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