i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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