I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
