Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
