sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
