i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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