yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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