mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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