idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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