Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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