So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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