...so i touched it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
