Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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