i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
