you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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