Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
