so explain again why im purple
no
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
