Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
