I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
