I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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