I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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