I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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