the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
