dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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