I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
