This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
