Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
smell my finger.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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