would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
