I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
