They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
